There’s no instruction manual for raising a baby. Babies don’t come with instruction manuals. As much as we’d love for them to, once the little bundles of joy arrive, it’s time for parents to figure it out on their own. In the process, that means many times our lives are changed forever. This was true for new mom and poet, Caroline Olling Anderson. However, for her, she found that writing helped her process the madness that is motherhood.
One night in particular, Caroline found herself woken up again, for what seemed like the millionth time in a row, only for her husband to be peacefully sleeping beside her. This inspired her to write a poem entitled, “Daddy’s Asleep” which she later posted to her Facebook page. It went viral immediately.
After the viral success of her poem, Caroline’s husband received a lot of criticism from commentators for not helping out. However, Caroline was quick to come to his defense, noting that prior to their baby’s arrival they’d made a deal that she would deal with the night feedings while she was on maternity leave.
“That said, tiredness will still cause you a lot of passive aggressive feelings in the early hours at night,” she said to Bored Panda.
If you are curious to read Caroline’s poem, it is posted below:
by Caroline Olling Anderson
I love your daddy, I really do,
After all, without daddy, I wouldn’t have you.
But from midnight till sunrise, it’s just you and I.
And as each hour passes, I’m not gonna lie:
Mommy’s love slowly fades, becomes angry and weak,
Because no matter what, your dad is f*cking asleep!
It all starts out lovely. We kiss each other goodnight.
We look lovingly down at you dear, such a beautiful sight.
An hour later, mommy wakes with a start.
You’re twisting and turning, you’re starting to fart.
You’re gesturing for food. Mommy is there
with a bottle or breast
Daddy is snoring away, the way he knows best.
Mommy burps you, and holds you and rocks you with care.
You spew foul smelling yogurt on mommy’s freshly washed hair.
As mommy changes her shirt, and mops vomit off the floor.
Your daddy farts, rolls over, and continues to snore.
Mommy’s maternal alarm goes off, it’s not even three!
You’re stirring again, you’re hungry and staring at me!
“I think she is hungry” your daddy offers, pulls duvet over his head,
Mommy sends him a death stare and rolls out of bed.
Mommy comes back, tired and drained and what is this I see?
Your daddy has taken over my side, doesn’t give a f*ck about me!
Mommy kicks him and pushes him angrily away.
“What’s up love?” He moans in a lovingly way.
Your daddy has no clue he is under attack.
He wraps his arms around me and kisses my back.
And just as my love for daddy is back on the rise,
You start to coo in your crib and open your eyes.
And daddy gently nudges me to attend to your need.
I give him the finger as I prepare for a feed.