For most people, it would be a given that they would drop everything – including a pre-planned vacation – in order to support their significant other during the unexpected loss of a parent. However, there was one Redditor who believed her circumstances – those being a vacation with her mother, sister, aunt, and cousin – could take priority to her boyfriend’s mother’s funeral.
She posted her story to Reddit’s AITA community, seeking the Internet’s opinion on whether or not she was wrong for skipping the funeral of her boyfriend’s mother, in order to attend a family vacation.
She began her tirade by saying it was already difficult enough to arrange “girls’ trips” with her family members since they all have busy lives. But to be honest, it doesn’t sound too different from the rest of America.
She also was quick to point out that she’d never been close with any of her boyfriend’s family members – despite being with him for 2 years – but was “friendly” towards them.
Then, OP says that just before she was set to go on her vacation, her boyfriend’s mother passed away unexpectedly.
She comforted her boyfriend and she felt that after she’d filled her good girlfriend quota, she ultimately didn’t have to go to the funeral because she’d already committed to vacation with her family.
Her boyfriend, while grief-stricken by the death of his mother, acknowledged that she’d have to forfeit all her vacation deposits, yet he did offer her $1,500 in order for her to make the funeral with him. Even with the generous offer she still declined, stating that she was torn between him and her family.
OP’s family really wanted her to go on vacation and didn’t help the situation, with her sister and cousin urging her to stick to the vacation as planned, and her aunt and mother offering her the unhelpful advice of “it’s ultimately your decision.” OP decided to go on the vacation as planned, and assumed emotional support could be given through regular calls and texts to her boyfriend while she was out of the country.
Not surprising, the boyfriend didn’t pick up or respond to her messages for a few days, leaving OP to ask Reddit of she’d “messed up.” And the Redditors did not hold back or spare her feelings.
People pointed out that the boyfriend was going through the loss of probably the most important person anyone will have in their lives: his mom. And, as his long-term girlfriend she should be sensitive to that and be there for him. Personally, I think we’ve all been there for the parents’ funerals of friends that we’re not even that close with.
One commenter continued his diatribe, and directly asked OP how she was even able to enjoy herself with the knowledge that her boyfriend was struggling with the loss of his mom?
The commenter ended his point by saying that yes, she was not only wrong, but grounds for a breakup.
Other commentators who are in relationships chimed in that they wouldn’t hesitate for a second to be there if there was tragedy within their significant others’ families.
OP eventually went into the rabbit hole that is the comments section to further explain herself.
But it was useless, because each of her comments was met with resoundingly harsh truths from Redditors – she was self-centered and should’ve been there in her boyfriend’s hour of need, even if it meant giving up the vacation.
People also gave OP some good advice, like not “ambushing” him right before he leaves for work to talk about the issue, but rather wait until later when they have plenty of time to discuss it.
While it may seem like a lot of hate is directed at OP, it’s a bit justified. Who wouldn’t be there for their long-term significant other when their mother dies? What are your thoughts?